Two weeks ago, I encouraged starting the healing process if there are any hang-ups or hurts hindering us from living our best life in 2021. Since then, I’ve heard from a few people who felt that post struck a chord for them.
The timing in writing about healing is right, especially for me, which I allude to later on. Therefore, I will be doing a series on this topic because so many people are hurting and need help. The sad thing is that many don’t know how or where to get started.
One of the truths about my blog is that I often write about issues that I am either currently facing or have dealt with in my own life. The reason is I don’t feel comfortable speaking about things that I’ve never personally experienced, in some way or the other, since my perspective lacks conviction and insight.
In the phenomenal book, Healing the Soul of a Woman, Joyce Meyer’s tells us why some individuals can only imagine how we might feel but can’t actually know our struggles:
“Many people can understand our pain, but no one understands it better than someone who has experienced what we’re going through. I can have great empathy for someone who was sexually abused, has had cancer, was divorced due to infidelity, or has experienced many other things. Still, since I have never had a substance addiction, I cannot truly know what someone goes through who is dealing with it.”
From the start of this blog back in 2018, I have shared enough details about my life, without spilling everything, to say I understand the need for inner healing. I hope that settles any unclarity about my position on the necessity of working through our baggage and living emotionally healthy lives.
Now let’s consider this example below.
Have you ever had to take out the garbage earlier than expected because it’s stinking up your house? I assume that at some point, you have, like most people around the world. So, you tied the smelly bag up and put it outside for removal by your area’s pick-up truck.
After you go back inside, you’re relieved that the awful stench is now gone from your home. But, when you wake up the next morning, you discover that a raccoon got a hold of the bag after sniffing all the raw food inside and ripped it open, leaving behind a trail of waste on your driveway.
When you see this mess, you are livid. “I secured the trash with two bags. How did this happen? Look at my property. It’s such a disaster. If only the garbage collector came earlier, this wouldn’t have happened,” you scream.
Well, you’re mistaken. The raccoon didn’t get a hold of your garbage because the removal didn’t happen sooner. It happened because you didn’t take the steps you needed to prevent those famous nightcrawlers from finding their late-night snack.
No matter the stage of life we are in, it’s important to take accountability.
For starters, you put raw food in the trash bag. Even my City’s waste guidelines say, “place raw meat in a bag inside of your outdoor garbage bin.” You don’t just leave it on the driveway in the open. Second, and most importantly, as my Dad taught me, “ensure the lid is completely closed and place a rock or some heavy object on top of it so wild animals can’t fish for their next meal.”
You see, when we fail to get the help we need to address our problems, we are avoiding the inevitable … garbage everywhere after an unsuspecting attack. Your raw wounds are festering. You may not be confronted with the stench of it all because you move it to the side. Nonetheless, every time you walk outside, it’s there. And there’s no chance to address those wounds by yourself because they’re too deep and infected.
We all should know that whatever you are, you will attract. It doesn’t matter if you try to cover up and avoid it. Whether that happens instantaneously or years down the line, time will tell, but it will happen. Either your pain will win, or you will. Both won’t be able to coexist forever.
Consider the movie called The Lady in the Yellow Van about a homeless woman named Miss Sheppard who lived in a yellow van parked in the driveway of Alan Bennett in London for fifteen years until her death. How could this be possible, you ask? Because of the hurt she experienced when she was younger and her immense guilt for accidentally killing a man while driving her van.
All those unresolved issues forced Miss Sheppard into prison. A sanctuary of isolation and terror she made for herself. And so, her past overwhelmed her, not because it had to. She chose to let it.
What garbage have you brought outside but is waiting for the raccoons to ravage? What excuses are you making because there is a big mess for everyone to see? Be real and get down to the matter.
A beautiful plan and purpose belong to you. After all, you are supposed to do great things. How can that happen if your living like Miss Sheppard, locked away from facing your fears? Now is the time to stop hiding.
I speak that over myself. I refuse to go any further with the pain I’ve been carrying for far too long—loads of disappointment, trauma, shame, anger, and frustration. I take the mask off that I use to pretend I’m okay and press forward to receive the healing I need to live a victorious life.
I hope you will too. There is genuine beauty for ashes if you take that chance. It’s super scary. Still, it’s the path to travel.
I see a bright future ahead for you. Your past doesn’t have to be your future. Start your healing journey today. Don’t wait another minute. There’s something beautiful on the other side of it all. I believe it, so should you.