I’ve been told that I’m picky. Yet, I would rather be picky than in an unhappy and unfulfilled relationship. You may think I say this because I’m alone, but it’s the truth. While everyone appears to be coupled up, there are few relationships that I admire. The majority of lovebirds are just two people who are together out of their fears of being alone. And that is the height of settling.
Settling is that feeling you have that the person you’re with is not the right one, yet you stay regardless. Homeboy has no job, no goals, and is a complete mess, but you aren’t trying to be alone. You’ve been with this person for umpteen years as his girlfriend when in reality, you’re ready to be a wife. You shared your feelings, dropped hints. However, he’s still moving like a snail. Settling. How can some of us tell other women that they’re too picky when they were not picky enough? He’s a mess. Let’s stop compromising.
Now, if you’re married, this post is not for you. I believe that you’ve got to work things out – the grass is not greener on the other side (this does not mean that you stay if he’s abusive and cheating). But ladies, single and unmarried, it’s time to stop accepting less than what you deserve. You cannot complain about your man when you’re not willing to put yourself first. Selfishness isn’t cute, but you will be treated the way you allow another person to treat you. Your dreams and passions are quickly passing you by because you’ve compromised your standards to be with someone who is only giving you crumbs. I apologize for being so harsh. Crumbs are for dogs. You give them what’s left over after you’ve eaten and are full. We see it in Hollywood all the time where women give their time, body, money and womb to a man, only for him to leave and move on to another woman and provide her with everything you wanted. Stop waiting for him to change and change yourself.
If your man is giving you 100%, but you’re still unhappy because you can’t get the diamond ring, house, and car that you want, that is a problem you need to fix. If he’s hardworking, consistent, faithful, and trustworthy, that’s more important than a man who can lavish you with things but is wholly uncommitted and not present. Our focus should not first be on material things that mean nothing in the long run but on the person’s character. That’s not settling. Don’t lose a diamond in the rough for a wolf in sheep clothing.
It’s the worst thing in life when you are in a relationship and have no peace. The person may be everything good on paper (handsome, fit, has money and cars), but you’re still unsettled. I’m sure you understand what I’m saying because they call it intuition. Your gut is rolling over daily because this person is not even meeting simple expectations. They lie, cheat, and steal. Some of us want to be needed, and we become mothers in their lives. Stop paying his bills while he sits at home watching TV and playing video games. Don’t enable such behaviour; it’s going to wear you out thin. Society has taught us to be silent about such matters, but you got to give voice to the truth. These men are still boys who are immature and not ready for life.
Resist selling yourself short for any man that walks on two feet. If you’re not careful, you’ll be waking up for the rest of your life with someone that you hate. Then the kids come, and you don’t want to parent alone, so you continue to put up with his sloppiness. Eventually, you grow bitter and angry at your life and him, and things get worse and worse each day. Leave now when you have the chance. Divorce is emotionally, physically and financially draining. I understand such a decision is hard and painful, especially since you love this person, and the future is uncertain. But in the long run, you’ll be much happier.
True love is always WORTH THE WAIT!