Love is a powerful emotion that crushes every fear and doubt. It sends waves through people’s hearts, which is more than anything money can ever buy. Yet, many women and girls feel unloved. I’m not talking about sex, cuddles, or the mindless use of the word – I mean the kind of love that leaves you feeling intimately known without inhibition.
Rejection and abandonment in childhood often prevent this ideal. For some, this began when your father left and never returned. It could be when your parents divorced and “confessed” that you were a mistake, or maybe the time friends gossiped and made fun of you. Even worse, it might be that day; a family member violated you during the night. The list of moments that left you feeling unappreciated, unvalued, and unwanted could fill these pages – simply UNLOVED!
While my experiences may not be like yours, I remember feeling those same emotions. For example, there was the time that I spent years in a relationship with a man I thought I would marry – only for him to leave. That situation was harrowing. It shattered my trust in people. For a long time, having a relationship was out of the picture because I thought all men leave. I eventually moved on from that stinking thinking, but then I liked a guy who didn’t reciprocate my feelings. Can we talk about a blow to the ego? Although both these men are not right for me, their reactions still made me feel less loved.
Are you surprised that I struggled with these feelings? If you are, that’s a common myth. The truth is that most women face unloving situations, even if their journey is different. You wouldn’t be able to tell as we often look good on the outside, but on the inside, there’s bottled up anger, resentment, and unforgiveness stemming from the pain. Kate Spade comes to mind because I believe underneath all her struggles was a desire for love. No designer bag or prestige could fill the gaping hole on the inside of her. Can you imagine the difference it would make if people understood the importance of love? As a result, fewer women and girls would fall victim to this world’s pressures.
This post may hit home. You’re fading away unnoticed with a heartbroken into a million pieces bleeding from a desire for genuine love. In your search, you may find yourself in dead-end relationships, which echoes of emptiness all around. However, you know deep down that those individuals are empty too and unable to give the love that you deserve. Be willing to let go of fear and remove the baggage from your life so that healing can begin in your heart.
While I don’t have any answers, I do have faith. When I was utterly broken in life and the folks around me couldn’t help, I relied on God. He’s here for you too (if you choose). Over time, you will notice that the people you turn to are in similar places. Let me explain; I remember my friend was seeing a psychologist. However, when she went to her third session, the receptionist divulged that her doctor was in the hospital due to a nervous breakdown after learning about her cheating husband. I’m not here to judge – but it’s important to show the impact of love gone missing – and our limitations.
If you’re feeling unloved, here are a few tips that may help to change that:
***LOVE YOURSELF – Another human being is incapable of loving you if you don’t love yourself first. People will always fail to meet your expectations.
***GIVE LOVE – Showing love to others has a way of making us feel good about ourselves. There are so many hurting women and girls who would appreciate a hug or kind word. Be what you need!
***WRITE – Journal and post sticky notes of all the things you love about yourself on the walls in your house. You can write that you make the best cupcakes, or you’re a math wiz. Be creative, as this will be a sweet reminder when negative thoughts arise.
***TALK – There’s power in sharing. Find a trusted friend or a confidante to release everything on your chest. It will make you feel better.
***PRAY – Let God know about your struggles and ask for help on how to handle them. He’s able to give wisdom to every situation.
***TREAT YOURSELF – Splurge a little! Buy a nice bag, take a trip, or go to your favourite restaurant. You deserve it.
Beautiful Woman, “you are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you” (SOS 4:7).